Wife is away.
Hour 90
"Daddy, the store's closed."
"No, see the 'Open' sign?"
"You know I can't read, right?"
Somehow, I feel dumb.
— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) November 29, 2013
Tweet of the Day 11/29/13
Tweet of the Day 11/28/13
Just starring random pictures on random accounts.
Don't mind me.
— Medicated Mommy (@PfizerGoddess) November 29, 2013
Tweet of the Day 11/27/13
What in the world.... pic.twitter.com/0AEQXqzoH5
— Domestic Goddess™ (@thedomestictype) November 28, 2013
Tweet of the Day 11/26/13
Apparently.....Rudolph is on.
— Domestic Goddess™ (@thedomestictype) November 27, 2013
And every person on Facebook is watching it
— Domestic Goddess™ (@thedomestictype) November 27, 2013
Tweet of the Day 11/25/13
My 3-year-old wiped out twice in her princess costume's high heels but kept wearing them because they’re pretty. She’s officially a woman.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 25, 2013
Tweet of the Day 11/24/13
Miley Cyrus hates pants more than everyone on Twitter combined #AMAs
— Domestic Goddess™ (@thedomestictype) November 25, 2013
Tweet of the Day 11/23/13
3 y.o is walking around saying, "I'm a dance major." Should I be concerned? #CareerPlanning #MomMoments
— Mama Martinez (@MamaBreal) November 23, 2013
Tweet of the Day 11/22/13
If you beep your horn .004 seconds after the light changes green, I will shut off the car, lay on the hood and feed the birds for an hour.
— Toneloaf (@ToneLoaf) June 13, 2011
Tweet of the Day 11/21/13
Me: Well, I gotta go. I gotta shave my legs and get my snatch under control.
Marianne: Uhhh... Okay...
— Lisa (@LisaACOTA) November 21, 2013
Tweet of the Day 11/20/13
2yo's christmas list: a star, a dolly, a princess top, and bread :)
— pippa @storyofmum (@storyofmum) November 20, 2013
Tweet of the Day 11/19/13
3 y.o. just walked up to me and said "I SAID the pony is not a different size" and walked off. Just...HUH?!
— Michele (@MommyMG) November 19, 2013
Tweet of the Day 11/18/13
If you don't shower with a beer, what's even the fucking point of showering?
— Medicated Mommy (@PfizerGoddess) November 19, 2013
Tweet of the Day 11/17/13
Life without emojis is no fun. 😍👏💞😏👌💁🙈
— Tatted Mommy♡ (@TattedMommyLife) November 17, 2013
Tweet of the Day 11/16/13
I don't think "terrified" is the emotion you should be going for in a selfie. Yikes.
— Domestic Goddess™ (@thedomestictype) November 16, 2013
Tweet of the Day 11/14/13
3rd grade Math homework. Yup, that's gonna take a bottle of wine.
— Jen Mitchell (@buriedwithkids) November 14, 2013
Tweet of the Day 11/13/13
Met another mom from my "mom group fail" today. In related news I'm quitting my mom's group tomorrow. #mommoments #mommyproblems #momfriends
— Housewifetrials (@ameena1229) November 13, 2013
Tweet of the Day 11/12/13
The Dr. Asked me if I could be pregnant (for the rx) and my 9 year old with me says "Daddy hopes not." #mommoment #momoffour #oldestchild
— jennifer allen (@allenfamily2004) November 12, 2013
Tweet of the Day 11/11/13
Every time I paint my nails my son takes a shit. EVERY time.
— Single Supermama (@singlesupermama) November 12, 2013
A brief break and back to business
As it sometimes goes, life had to catch up with me the last couple of weeks. I apologize for missing all the (surely) funny Halloween tweets. I will not give up, nor surrender. Look for new posts to come.
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