Reason #2,358,194 why I'm late:
Dude, we need to go.
But wait mom, I need to poop.
— YKIHAYHT (@YKIHAYHT) December 19, 2013
Tweet of the Day 12/19/13
Tweet of the Day 12/18/13
Will always be my greatest accomplishment. #lovebeingamom http://t.co/jwZPMdVZl2
— Glitter Heels (@glitterheels1) December 18, 2013Tweet of the Day 12/17/13
Laying in bed eating a turkey sandwich & watching 19 Kids & Counting while my husband plays video games lol
— Stay At Home Mommy (@StayAtHomeMom_) December 17, 2013
Tweet of the Day 12/16/13
90% of moms have had full conversations through the bathroom door with a child who was oblivious about the private happenings inside #HMF
— Honest Mom (@HonestMomFacts) December 16, 2013
Tweet of the Day 12/15/13
"What are your hobbies?" pic.twitter.com/uFj14xELms
— Feisty Female (@BulletsAndHeels) December 15, 2013
Tweet of the Day 12/14/13
It would be wrong to take someone's family photos with Santa from FB and submit them to "Awkward Family Photos," wouldn't it?
— cocoon (@JustForHT) December 14, 2013
Tweet of the Day 12/13/13
Whether they're 2 or 17 years old, a father's main goal raising a daughter is keeping them from putting the wrong things in their mouth.
— R-Co (@rysox80) December 13, 2013
Tweet of the Day 12/12/13
For my next trick while the kids are asleep
I will make this Chocolate Cream Pie
disappear;)
#Mommoments
— PreMed Mom (@PreMedMommy) December 12, 2013
Tweet of the Day 12/11/13
Cleaning and watching my kids dance in front of the tv! #lovemykids #music #dancing #lovebeingamom #hatecleaning
— Marissa Jackson (@mjayy1987) December 11, 2013
Tweet of the Day 12/10/13
There is a real thin line between being a friend and a mother to a teenager. Ergh. #lovebeingamom ????
— suraiya abdul samad (@suraiyaabdsamad) December 10, 2013
Tweet of the Day 12/9/13
So my kids thought they'd help me unpack... in my opinion its more like destroy the house #lovebeingamom pic.twitter.com/3oHlGc57pj
— Tasha (@Tasha_Allwardt) December 10, 2013
Tweet of the Day 12/8/13
When son is sick, wife dotes on him. When I'M sick, she bitches abt me being needy.
I blame good moms for setting unrealistic expectations.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) December 9, 2013
Tweet of the Day 12/7/13
Hubby took over the cookie-making so I accidentally had too much vodka and then I drunk-ordered a pizza. Life is good, you guys.
— Michele (@MommyMG) December 7, 2013
Tweet of the Day 12/6/13
It is disturbing to me how fast riding boots and a belted cardigan can make a suburban mom look like she's auditioning for a pirate movie.
— Naps Happen (@NapsHappen) December 6, 2013
Tweet of the Day 12/5/13
All these bitches fighting on twitter.
I'm just over here trying to figure out how to eat cake and not gain weight. 🍰
— Alyssa (@A_Garcia2352) December 6, 2013
Tweet of the Day 12/4/13
@funnymommoments "Hey Mom - I figured out why Santa's so fat...he eats WAAAY too many cookies!"
— Sonia Mendes (@MendesMusings) December 4, 2013
Tweet of the Day 12/3/13
And....my son was caught masturbating at daycare. #lovebeingamom
— trinablaze (@trinablaze) December 3, 2013
Tweet of the Day 12/2/13
Don't forget to lie to yourself this morning that your clothes shrank in the dryer.
They didn't.
— Vodka n Tots (@Vodkantots) December 2, 2013
Tweet of the Day 12/1/13
That awkward moment when your letdown starts and you spray through your shirt. #breastfeedingprobs
— Redheaded Momma (@singlemommabear) December 1, 2013
Tweet of the Day 11/30/13
Empty nest again! 😔 Guess I'll decorate 🎄 and expectantly await the next return home!! 😍 #lovebeingaMom
— Jenny Lee (@J_Lee_run) November 30, 2013
Tweet of the Day 11/29/13
Wife is away.
Hour 90
"Daddy, the store's closed."
"No, see the 'Open' sign?"
"You know I can't read, right?"
Somehow, I feel dumb.
— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) November 29, 2013Tweet of the Day 11/28/13
Just starring random pictures on random accounts.
Don't mind me.
— Medicated Mommy (@PfizerGoddess) November 29, 2013
Tweet of the Day 11/27/13
What in the world.... pic.twitter.com/0AEQXqzoH5
— Domestic Goddess™ (@thedomestictype) November 28, 2013
Tweet of the Day 11/26/13
Apparently.....Rudolph is on.
— Domestic Goddess™ (@thedomestictype) November 27, 2013
And every person on Facebook is watching it
— Domestic Goddess™ (@thedomestictype) November 27, 2013
Tweet of the Day 11/25/13
My 3-year-old wiped out twice in her princess costume's high heels but kept wearing them because they’re pretty. She’s officially a woman.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 25, 2013
Tweet of the Day 11/24/13
Miley Cyrus hates pants more than everyone on Twitter combined #AMAs
— Domestic Goddess™ (@thedomestictype) November 25, 2013
Tweet of the Day 11/23/13
3 y.o is walking around saying, "I'm a dance major." Should I be concerned? #CareerPlanning #MomMoments
— Mama Martinez (@MamaBreal) November 23, 2013
Tweet of the Day 11/22/13
If you beep your horn .004 seconds after the light changes green, I will shut off the car, lay on the hood and feed the birds for an hour.
— Toneloaf (@ToneLoaf) June 13, 2011
Tweet of the Day 11/21/13
Me: Well, I gotta go. I gotta shave my legs and get my snatch under control.
Marianne: Uhhh... Okay...
— Lisa (@LisaACOTA) November 21, 2013
Tweet of the Day 11/20/13
2yo's christmas list: a star, a dolly, a princess top, and bread :)
— pippa @storyofmum (@storyofmum) November 20, 2013
Tweet of the Day 11/19/13
3 y.o. just walked up to me and said "I SAID the pony is not a different size" and walked off. Just...HUH?!
— Michele (@MommyMG) November 19, 2013
Tweet of the Day 11/18/13
If you don't shower with a beer, what's even the fucking point of showering?
— Medicated Mommy (@PfizerGoddess) November 19, 2013
Tweet of the Day 11/17/13
Life without emojis is no fun. 😍👏💞😏👌💁🙈
— Tatted Mommy♡ (@TattedMommyLife) November 17, 2013
Tweet of the Day 11/16/13
I don't think "terrified" is the emotion you should be going for in a selfie. Yikes.
— Domestic Goddess™ (@thedomestictype) November 16, 2013
Tweet of the Day 11/14/13
3rd grade Math homework. Yup, that's gonna take a bottle of wine.
— Jen Mitchell (@buriedwithkids) November 14, 2013
Tweet of the Day 11/13/13
Met another mom from my "mom group fail" today. In related news I'm quitting my mom's group tomorrow. #mommoments #mommyproblems #momfriends
— Housewifetrials (@ameena1229) November 13, 2013
Tweet of the Day 11/12/13
The Dr. Asked me if I could be pregnant (for the rx) and my 9 year old with me says "Daddy hopes not." #mommoment #momoffour #oldestchild
— jennifer allen (@allenfamily2004) November 12, 2013
Tweet of the Day 11/11/13
Every time I paint my nails my son takes a shit. EVERY time.
— Single Supermama (@singlesupermama) November 12, 2013
A brief break and back to business
As it sometimes goes, life had to catch up with me the last couple of weeks. I apologize for missing all the (surely) funny Halloween tweets. I will not give up, nor surrender. Look for new posts to come.
Tweet of the Day 10-22
Looking at Pinterest while bored and hungry just means I'm gonna have to explain why I licked my phone.
— Jen Mitchell (@buriedwithkids) October 22, 2013
Tweet of the Day 10-21
Most of my parenting involves hearing a loud noise in the other room and shouting, “What happened?” Getting up is for amateurs.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 21, 2013
Tweet of the Day 10-20
#mymomsecret I teach my 13 y/o the art of sarcasm so she can use it like a pro!
— SexyMoxieMama (@SexyMoxieMama) October 20, 2013
Tweet of the Day 20-19
@funnymommoments One of my Mom Secrets is where I've hidden all the Halloween candy. Never hide candy in the same place twice! Never!
— Natalia McPhedran (@chillinnatalia) October 19, 2013
Tweet of the Day 10-18
I can't find my juice box! That's right I said "my". #mommoments #mommyproblems
— Housewifetrials (@ameena1229) October 19, 2013
Tweet of the Day 10-17
Naps are mom crack. #mommoments #kids #mommyproblems
— Housewifetrials (@ameena1229) October 17, 2013
Tweet of the Day 10-16
With the wife out of town on a business trip, it brings to mind an old saying... "The cats away and the mice won't shower."
— John Willey (@DaddysinCharge) October 16, 2013
Tweet of the Day 10-15
Let's do the Nag Dance! You nag it to the left. You nag it to the right. I always nag my husband all day and night!
— Skunky Happiness (@StonedWife) October 15, 2013
Tweet of the Day 10-14
Tell your daughter... pic.twitter.com/3kPdu3278a
— ProudMommy3 (@MrsTwinMommy) October 14, 2013
Tweet of the Day 10-13
Just found my sons pillow covered in white sticky stuff & I don't think I've ever been happier to see a jar of marshmallow creme in my life
— Felicity Tangles (@Pirate_nurse) October 13, 2013
Tweet of the Day 10-12
I actually got to sleep in an hour longer than usual 😁
— Brittany Cull✌ (@itsbritnyybitch) October 12, 2013
Tweet of the Day 10-11
There's nothing better than watching your baby grow right before your very eyes #blessed
— CaliSAHM (@cali_sahm) October 11, 2013
Tweet of the Day 10-10
Whenever I give the kids Graham crackers I think about how Dr. Graham invented them to keep people from masturbating.
— Michele (@MommyMG) October 10, 2013
Tweet of the Day 10-9
Yes my child poured an entire jar of cinnamon & sugar on the table and climbed up to play in it. Yes I tweeted before cleaning. #MomMoments
— Jen (@DontWriteOnMeat) October 9, 2013
Tweet of the Day 10-8
Realizing that the gluten free dairy free bag of brownies you had brought home for your kids exploded...in your Gucci bag. #mommoment
— carrie kerpen (@carriekerpen) October 8, 2013
Tweet of the Day 10-7
Seriously tho, you have no idea how many times a day I end up saying. Can you please not sit on the cat?!?!
— ProudMommy3 (@MrsTwinMommy) October 7, 2013
Tweet of the Day 10-6
So I tried plucking an underarm hair with tweezers. I just want to punch myself in the face for putting myself through that much pain
— This Mommy (@this_mommy) October 7, 2013
Tweet of the Day 10-5
Amazing how exhausting it can be to NOT get the whole house even close to clean. #mommoments
— Lea Grover (@bcmgsupermommy) October 5, 2013
Tweet of the Day 10-4
My child thinks I'm the prettiest girl in the world, so your opinion is irrelevant 💁💜
— sahMILF (@sahMILF_) October 5, 2013
Tweet of the Day 10-3
They say all babies look just like their dads for the first 6mths-1yr. It's an animal thing, so the father doesn't reject the offspring.
— jazmine.ej (@CanadianMamma) October 3, 2013
Tweet of the Day 10-2
"I love you" "I love you too" #mommylife pic.twitter.com/mawVhBPM7v
— This Mommy (@this_mommy) October 2, 2013
Tweet of the Day 10-1
Actual quote from my 4-year-old: "Thank you 4 making me be alive, anyway." Then went on about his business... #MomMoments 2 remember. #Kids
— Lizandra Vega (@LizandraVega) October 1, 2013
Tweet of the Day 9-30
Those sweet words your loving child comes whispering at 3 am..."mom, I just threw up all over the bathroom floor"..ugh.. #mommoments>
— Melissa o'farrell (@melissao8910) September 30, 2013
Tweet of the Day 9-29
*goes to watch Breaking Bad *can't find AMC channel. *gives up and has sex with wife as last resort
— Rob R (@MyHairyLife) September 30, 2013
Tweet of the Day 9-28
Allie is really awesome to sleep next to you enjoy getting violently scissor kicked in the face all night. Coffee trough needed.
— Michele (@MommyMG) September 28, 2013
Tweet of the Day 9-27
7yo in back seat, overhears my convo with her 13yo sister. Proceeds to randomly say "vagina...That's a funny word" for 20 min #mommoments
— Melissa o'farrell (@melissao8910) September 27, 2013
Tweet of the Day 9-26
Tonight at bedtime, Baby G cried forlornly because she doesn't want to have a C-Section when she has a baby. Totally normal 5YO issues.
— They Call Me Mummy (@theycallmemummy) September 26, 2013
Tweet of the Day 9-25
Love When my 16yo son stops Xbox and calls me back to his room because he didn't get a hug before I leave for work. #mommoments
— Melissa o'farrell (@melissao8910) September 25, 2013
Tweet of the Day 9-24
Out walking at the middle school track, turn around, and Colt is pooping in the middle of the track. #parenting #mommoment
— Ruth Caruthers (@CorbinsHeart) September 24, 2013
Tweet of the Day 9-23
I wonder if the 3 year old will ask to sleep with a miniature pumpkin. You know, like she did last night.
— Michele (@MommyMG) September 23, 2013
Tweet of the Day 9-22
The secret of happiness is to have a bad memory...
— Olga Rodjim (@olgarodjim) September 22, 2013
Tweet of the Day 9-21
My boy's toes are adorable #mommoment pic.twitter.com/w7DXkli9lg
— Kris Ligon (@krisligon) September 21, 2013
Tweet of the Day 9-20
Woke up this morning with a Baby on my Boob... #Smh #Breastfeeding #Mommoments
— PreMed Mom (@PreMedMommy) September 20, 2013
Tweet of the Day 9-19
Sullivan leaned over and said "i fart at you!" I'm surrounded by boys, I guess I should get used to this. #MomMoments
— Jen (@natrl_redhead) September 20, 2013
Tweet of the Day 9-18
Store clerk just complimented my car. I whispered "it's stolen" and winked. It's a lie, it's mine but goddamn it feels good to be a gangster
— Varsity (@JessicaVarsity) September 19, 2013
Tweet of the Day 9-17
I don't know how my 2 year old can attempt to draw a picture, look at her finished product and not be extremely disappointed.
— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) September 17, 2013
Tweet of the Day 9-16
There comes a point in every moms life when u realize u've been wearing the same shirt for 3 days and u don't care #Mommoments #momproblems
— Gabrielle (@gabsalot1022) September 17, 2013
Tweet of the Day 9-15
"Mom? Can you put my flip flop on me? My hands are full of snacks." - kid problems
— Amy or Mom (@FunnyIsFamily) September 16, 2013
Tweet of the Day 9-14
Either I'm wine drunk, or @KathieLGifford is a voice on Higglytown Heroes. I blame the playroom tv being left on after bedtime. #mommoment
— Caroline C. (@sahweetCaroline) September 15, 2013
Tweet of the Day 9-13
Up in the wee hours with a crying/hurting child and wouldn't trade it for anything #mommoment #truelove
— Cyndi Guidry (@socialcyndi) September 13, 2013
Tweet of the Day 9-12
This about sums up our day... #toddlerlife #sahm #mommoments pic.twitter.com/j9RW5JnpGz
— Kristy C (@Kacey319) September 13, 2013
Tweet of the Day 9-11
4: Mom, you look like a rockstar in your glasses. Me: Thanks! 4: No, I mean your sunglasses. In those glasses you look like Mr. Potato Head.
— Amy (@FunnyIsFamily) September 11, 2013
Tweet of the Day 9-10
I'm proud to say we finally stopped co-dog-sleeping. After 6 yrs the dog now stays in his own bed at night. This was 100x harder than w kids
— Michele (@MommyMG) September 10, 2013
Tweet of the Day 9-9
Go eat your blocks and leave Mommy to cry in the bathroom for a few minutes.
— Blonde Supermom (@Blonde_Supermom) September 9, 2013
Tweet of the Day 9-8
I wanted 2 c how many times my 5yr old would ask the same question until I answered her. 17. I feel bad for her future husband. #Mommoments
— Gabrielle (@gabsalot1022) September 9, 2013
Tweet of the Day 9-7
Apparently, "because my daughter just got her first period" is not a sufficient enough reason to be approved for a gun licence.
— Parentpains (@Parentpains) September 7, 2013
Tweet of the Day 9-6
Dear bd pic.twitter.com/tOkOkbLO40
— single mom strong (@only_mom_strong) September 6, 2013
Tweet of the Day 9-5
What is this sex you people speak of? 😂
— SAHM_Problems (@missbusy20) September 6, 2013
Tweet of the day 9-3
Lost iPhone. I searched the house, Interrogated the husband & kids and had a tantrum. Found it 2 hours later. IN MY BRA @NickMoms
— They Call Me Mummy (@theycallmemummy) September 4, 2013
Tweet of the day 9-2
Child: I think the dog has allergies. Me: Why's that? Child: I poked him in the eye. Happy Labor Day, everyone!
— Paige Kellerman (@PaigeKellerman) September 2, 2013
Tweet of the day 9-1
If only #Facebook had a "comment anonymously" button I could tell these idiots what I really think.
— This Mom (@ThisMomSaidIt) September 2, 2013
Tweet of the day 8-31
Why does the weirdest stuff go down when my husband is watching these two? pic.twitter.com/roIJjnmrat
— Michele (@MommyMG) August 31, 2013
Tweet of the day 8-30
My son has discovered that if he pushes on my boob milk squirts out. He also thinks this is hilarious. 💦💦💦
— opinionated mama (@OpinionatedMomm) August 30, 2013
Tweet of the day 8-29
Fun fact: Mom's belly makes for a great Play-Doh substitute.
— Amy (@FunnyIsFamily) August 29, 2013
Tweet of the day 8-28
Definition of a sippy cup: A cup that is totally awesome at keeping the drink in, as long as it’s never left on its side
— Baby Sideburns (@BabySideburns) August 28, 2013
Tweet of the day 8-27
I can't find my kid's birth certificate, but I apparently saved one for every Build-A-Bear we own in a special file because I'm insane.
— Stella G. Maddox (@StellaGMaddox) August 27, 2013
Tweet of the Day 8-26
I already want to take a nap tomorrow! #pregnantprobs #mommylife
— Jenn Collins (@jennifercole86) August 27, 2013
Tweet of the Day 8-25
In his ongoing crusade to purge every ounce of joy from the parenting experience, my son has converted cuddle-time into headbutting-time.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) August 25, 2013
Tweet of the Day 8-24
I can’t wait until my son grows up and the realisation hits him that the light sabre he found in my drawer was actually a vibrator.
— Fluffy Suse (@fluffysuse) August 24, 2013
Tweet of the Day 8-23
Thinking the best way to clean up the house this weekend is to throw it all in the garbage and start from scratch.
— This Mom (@ThisMomSaidIt) August 24, 2013
Tweet of the Day 8-22
Where are the children's books that teach you the lesson that everyone is super duper awful?
— Angela Weezy (@wibo0016) August 22, 2013
Tweet of the Day 8-21
Yeah, so I've been in my pajamas since 5:30... so what? Related: there's nothing like getting peed on while making dinner. #sahm #mommoments
— Kristy C (@Kacey319) August 22, 2013
Tweet of the Day 8-20
Watching jeopardy. Thought I had suddenly become good at it until I realized that they were doing a kid addition #notsmarterthanafifthgrader
— Surviving Mamahood (@MamahoodDiaries) August 20, 2013
Tweet of the Day 8-19
My life today pic.twitter.com/DZqrl2iohU
— AnotherMomAnon (@AnotherMomAnon) August 19, 2013
Tweet of the Day 8-18
I've been trying to read this book forever, but I can't stop refreshing Twitter.
— Medicated Mommy (@PfizerGoddess) August 18, 2013
Tweet of the Day 8-17
Tad aaa! Now I am covered in edible glitter. http://t.co/fW7fOmAaeO
— They Call Me Mummy (@theycallmemummy) August 17, 2013
@funnymommoments Now THAT would make an interesting date night ;p
— They Call Me Mummy (@theycallmemummy) August 18, 2013
Tweet of the Day 8-16
I forgot I had eye makeup on, rubbed my eyes, and now I look like a back alley whore. My life is ruined.
— Medicated Mommy (@PfizerGoddess) August 16, 2013
Tweet of the Day 8-15
😂👌 pic.twitter.com/H8HX7ypIOG
— Florida☀Mommy (@Mommy__Thoughts) August 15, 2013
Tweet of the Day 8-14
Unless you're bleeding from the head or on fire, SHHHHHHH #DuckDynasty is on! That's a fact, Jack!
— This Single Mommy (@this_mommy) August 15, 2013
Tweet of the Day 8-13
Every time my kid talks about how farts are just "butt sneezes", I'm reminded how much I need more adults in my life #singlemomlife
— This Single Mommy (@this_mommy) August 14, 2013
Tweet of the Day 8-12
I can go hop a fence in my back yard and meet the bus around the block. I hate this Kindergarten worry that I am going through. GoGirl is so excited and I am so nervous.
I have a feeling the first day of kindergarten I may or may not chase down the bus
— SAHM_Problems (@missbusy20) August 13, 2013
Tweet of the Day 8-11
I'm going to start saying "I bet you know me from twitter" when I meet people.
— Single Supermama (@singlesupermama) August 11, 2013
Tweet of the Day 8-10
If you have any problems falling asleep, just have a 7yo explain to you what happened in a movie they saw.
— Ann (@writerPT) August 11, 2013
Tweet of the Day 8-9
It's Friday. Finally. I think I can actually hear Chariots of Fire playing in the background, willing me to make it until 5 p.m. #TGIF
— I Like Beer & Babies (@beerandbabies) August 9, 2013
Tweet of the Day 8-8
Today was GoGirl's 5th Birthday and my parents didn't make me want to drink... a gift for me! Yay!
Remember, to the world you're just one person, but to one person you're a giant pain in the ass and their reason for drinking.
— taytayMcSugarBoobs (@_TayTayJustine) August 8, 2013
Tweet of the Day 8-7
2 year old: "Popsicle." "How about a carrot?" "Popsicle." "Apple?" "Popsicle." "8 billion dollars?" "Money." "Popsicle?" "MONEY."
— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) August 7, 2013
Tweet of the Day 8-6
My daughter loves telling me how inappropriate other ladies clothes are. Especially when they are within earshot.
— This Mom (@ThisMomSaidIt) August 7, 2013
Tweet of the Day 8-5
Woke my 5 year old up at 2am to get revenge at him for waking me up every day at 6am but he wants to play now and damnit this backfired.
— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) August 5, 2013
Tweet of the Day 8-4
If I didn't have a smartphone, I'd be asleep 4 hours earlier every night.
— Female Addiction (@FemaleAddiction) August 4, 2013
Tweet of the Day 8-3
Minions. Why don't I have minions yet? I need to try harder.
— Addiction (@unarsed) August 3, 2013
Tweet of the Day 8-2
I hate when people are disloyal, such as my babysitter. She said she can't work anymore because she's going off to college. Nice priorities!
— Kelley (@KelleysBreakRm) August 2, 2013
Tweet of the Day 8-1
We can't wait for them to say "mommy" when they are babies then I can't wait for them to stop saying it when they are toddlers. #Parenting
— Martinis & Minivans (@martinisandmini) August 2, 2013
Tweet of the Day 7-30
I didn't actually fall asleep over my iPad playing Candy Crush last night. That would just be weird.
— Liz Gumbinner (@Mom101) July 31, 2013
Tweet of the Day 7-29
RT if you: breast-feed, formula-feed, co-slip, crib-sleep, use cloth diapers, or use regular diapers. Everyone's different. And that's okay.
— Mommy (@teenwithatot) July 30, 2013
Tweet of the Day 7-28
Just saw the most handsome and well dressed man I've ever seen. I'm wearing sweatpants. I lose.
— Single Supermama (@singlesupermama) July 28, 2013
Tweet of the Day 7-27
The Do's & Don'ts of parenting! Lol pic.twitter.com/XFih2fG7pk
— ProudMommy3 (@Lisa_TwinMommy) July 27, 2013
Tweet of the Day 7-26
Pinteresting and hunger are a lethal combination to my waistline.
— Tracy @ Momaical.com (@Momaical) July 26, 2013
Tweet of the Day 7-25
Most of the time... pic.twitter.com/kgi9xqaIqG
— Olga Rodjim (@olgarodjim) July 26, 2013
Tweet of the Day 7-24
I just feel like smacking someone. I'm not even mad. I'm probably hungry
— This Single Mommy (@this_mommy) July 24, 2013
Tweet of the Day 7-23
I tucked him in. Kissed his sweet cheek. -Mom? You know what would be weird? -What? -Having a hobo as a pet. He's ready for twitter.
— inappropriate mom (@nicfit75) July 23, 2013
Tweet of the Day 7-22
Today's Tweet of the Day goes to John Willey's Exclusive Coverage of the Royal Birth!
*Check out John Willey aka @DaddysinCharge at his blog http://www.daddysincharge.com/ for more great lego stuff and general funny parenting stuff.
EXCLUSIVE FIRST PHOTO!!! #RoyalBaby pic.twitter.com/0P3cNP2tgc
— John Willey (@DaddysinCharge) July 22, 2013
EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS!!! Elton John has paid a visit to the new #RoyalBaby pic.twitter.com/xzO4viTz0L
— John Willey (@DaddysinCharge) July 22, 2013
#ROYALBABY EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS!!! The Spice Girls have made their way to see William and Kate's new baby! pic.twitter.com/pY80PlUhBA
— John Willey (@DaddysinCharge) July 22, 2013
The Queen has visited her royal Great Grandson #excusivephotos #RoyalBaby pic.twitter.com/VaGHNkB6T0
— John Willey (@DaddysinCharge) July 22, 2013
The #RoyalBaby has already been seen dancing shirtless at the hospital bar.
— John Willey (@DaddysinCharge) July 22, 2013
Tomorrow marks Will and Kate's first day that they will be asked about baby number two.
— John Willey (@DaddysinCharge) July 22, 2013
*Check out John Willey aka @DaddysinCharge at his blog http://www.daddysincharge.com/ for more great lego stuff and general funny parenting stuff.
Tweet of the Day 7-21
I'm totally fine w my son losing his shit when I turn off TV cuz it gives me reason to say "Just chill, til the next episode" over & over.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) July 21, 2013
Tweet of the Day 7-20
And we're running. We're running. We're walking. We're stopping to tweet about walking. And we're calling the wife to pick us up.
— Rob R (@MyHairyLife) July 20, 2013
Tweet of the Day 7-19
*falls down 14 stairs, breaks ankles* *kids surround me* 5 year old: "Daddy, where's my Batman toy?" 2 year old: "Piggy back ride?"
— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) July 19, 2013
Tweet of the Day 7-18
You know you have #mommyprobs when sitting alone in a quiet room doing absolutely nothing is like a dream vacation! 🙌
— Mommy Probs (@Mommy_Problemz) July 18, 2013
Tweet of the Day 7-17
My dear, sweet boy, I love you with all my heart. Now GO TO SLEEP BEFORE I LOSE MY DAMN MIND!! Love, Mommy
— This Single Mommy (@this_mommy) July 18, 2013
Tweet of the Day 7-16
Truthful Tuesday: When you run outside real quick without a bra to take out the trash, all your neighbors will spot you and want to chat.
— Michelle Mossey (@MichelleMossey) July 17, 2013
Tweet of the Day 7-15
Today was the first time I had to shout, "Don't make me pull this car over." Mothering achievement unlocked.
— Paige Kellerman (@PaigeKellerman) July 15, 2013
Tweet of the Day 7-14
I think I need another weekend to recover from this weekend.
— Mommy Loves Wine (@WineMommy) July 15, 2013
Tweet of the Day 7-13
If my child pees in the bathtub, do I really have to start over? #MomMoments
— Annice (@JustForHT) July 14, 2013
Tweet of the Day 7-12
I say "what" a lot, not because I'm hard of hearing, but because I can't believe how stupid some people are
— The Mommy Catwalk (@MommyCatwalk) July 12, 2013
Tweet of the Day 7-11
I know it's going to be a good day when I've found time to take a shower! 🙌🚿
— Mommy Probs (@Mommy_Problemz) July 11, 2013
Tweet of the Day 7-10
I caught myself watching mickey mouse today when dominic was napping... so this is what my life has become? #newmomprobs
— chantal laffin (@chantallaffin1) July 11, 2013
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